Super quick! I ship all orders within 24 hours. Same-day shipping has also been known to happen, if I catch the order at the right time. The rest is up to our trusty friends at USPS. They've been dealing with some cut backs lately, but when they're on, they are on.
You bet your sweet ass you can. Just tell me what alternate text you want, in the "message to seller" box when checking out.
This is a perfectly acceptable reason for a return. And so is most anything else. I'm not here to force my stuff on anyone, I'm here to share some laughs and love. So as long as the item is returned to me in it's original condition, and within 14 days of receiving it, I will refund it fully. Please contact me for instructions.